What if? I have heard many times in my life, never have a "what if." I have thought about this statement many times. I believe there is absolutely no way not to have a "what if?" in your life. We make decisions every day that change the course of the day. There are many forks in the path of life. Daily we choose which path to take. Some of these decisions are everyday mundane decisions that we don't even remember making. Others are bigger decisions we ponder about after the decision has been made. Did I make the right choice? Did I go in the right direction? Will I regret the decision I made?
The biggest "what if?" in my life, was the decision not to admit to myself, my family, and my friends that I am gay. This decision was based on fear. The fear of going to hell. The fear of my family and friends alienating me. So I did the all American. I graduated from high school, got married, and had children. However, after 18 years of marriage, this all changed. I am a gay man living with a life partner. As far as my big "what if?", I will embrace it. I have been blessed with two wonderful children and I have been blessed with a wonderful partner.
In conclusion, I don't believe all "what ifs?" are bad. We will have many of them in our lives. Embrace the ones that lead our lives on a positive path. Forgive yourself for the ones that were not positive. Life gives us many decisions to make. We can only make these decisions with what we know at the time. What if?
The biggest "what if?" in my life, was the decision not to admit to myself, my family, and my friends that I am gay. This decision was based on fear. The fear of going to hell. The fear of my family and friends alienating me. So I did the all American. I graduated from high school, got married, and had children. However, after 18 years of marriage, this all changed. I am a gay man living with a life partner. As far as my big "what if?", I will embrace it. I have been blessed with two wonderful children and I have been blessed with a wonderful partner.
In conclusion, I don't believe all "what ifs?" are bad. We will have many of them in our lives. Embrace the ones that lead our lives on a positive path. Forgive yourself for the ones that were not positive. Life gives us many decisions to make. We can only make these decisions with what we know at the time. What if?
Regrets are extremely hard to live with. You know that I have many of them, but I agree that they have, actually, made my life much more interesting in the end, showing that even if we take a path that leads us down a hurtful / painful experience, where our faith and character are tested to the point of breaking, we always end up in the place that we always wanted to be.
ReplyDeleteI love what has happened, because it has made me who I am... and to that end, I am extremely thankful!
Excellent post!!!!!!